Sunday evening found Dan and me, as usual, at the pool. The pool is a place where numerous congregants and citizens of Hamilton gather to grill and swap stories while their children swim, supervised by well-trained and paid life guards. The music, the many seating options, the baby pool, lap pool, and diving area complete with colorful slides contribute to an atmosphere we may appropriately dub "family friendly."
I was glad to relax after a week filled with rigorous spin classes, interviews, and moving paperwork. The spin classes, especially, had been tiring. Every class is at least one hour and I had the happy good fortune to sign up with the most difficult instructor - a woman named Debbie who offers us gum, tells funny stories, and occasionally shouts profane (but not extremely offensive) words during the workout. I find the people in spin to be exceptionally warm and quirky, and the infrequent swearing makes me feel I've gotten into a part of the community different from the Sunday morning crowd at church.
Let's go back now to the pool. There I was, among the church crowd, laughing, sipping wine, holding Conner, who is drools more than any baby I've ever met and is utterly adorable. Adam (from church) comes up to me and says, "Hey, I was just talking to Debbie."
"Who?" I reply, searching my memory for a Debbie from church.
"You take her spin class," says Adam, "She came up and asked me who you were and I told her you were the new pastor's wife and she said, 'Oh shit! I was swearing during class...I need to apologize to her.'"
And suddenly it hit me - I am not simply 25 year old, first grade teacher, Krista - I am "the new pastor's wife." Which, inevitably, means that people may, without knowing anything about me or how I feel about language and morals, assume it is wrong to swear in front of me. People may, in fact, make assumptions about my political beliefs, may change what they say and how they behave, may want to appear different from who they really are, simply because my husband has chosen to formally pursue a vocation in ministry. "Oh shit," I thought, this could be tough.
P.S. I accepted a position teaching first grade in Hamilton City Schools this morning! I am so excited! Also, we got to see Dan's parents this weekend - they came to celebrate Mom Carter's birthday (which was Monday the fourteenth). I think she's 29 this year. (c: We had a great time with them. I'll post more about actual events...today I just felt like a thought-based post.
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7 comments:
Yeah... I've had a couple of those moments (people actually started apolgizing for swearing when Kevin was a youth director pre-Princeton). You don't want to feel like a two-headed freak, and yet...
We should start a list/blog on all the wierd stuff that happens because of being a pastor's wife (maybe hidden away somewhere where church members would never find it!).
Congrats on the job! I'm so excited for you! You'll do great-and be a huge blessing in those kids' lives.
I remember when you and I had a conversation in La Casa about what it means to be a pastor's wife and what it felt like to grow up as a PK. :)
Welcome to a new world, where people tend to judge you by your personal association with a pastor. :)
I never swore around you because I knew you would someday be a pastor's wife. However, with Dan on the raquetball court, I let the expletives fly. Congrats on the job. We miss you guys.
your post made me laugh; ) only because it's soo true! you know what's funny? i think i'm going to find the opposite problem here. our church has a group of very conservative people and i feel i have to watch myself around them! as if they were the pastors! anyways, it was great to get a laugh from you today! again, congrats on your job. miss you lots!
That is too funny!! Congrats on the job!!!
Krista you crack me up. I promise to never treat you like a pastors wife and continue to swear around you ;)
Oh Krista,
Growing up as a PK, I remember all too well how different people would act once they realized who's daughter I was --- and to top that, I remember struggling to have my own identity in my spiritual walk in my teen years - when so many people assumed that I knew the 'right answers' because of who I was related to, instead of who I was... On the flip side, it is such an amazing opportunity you have been given to love and show grace and be REAL in the church culture. =) Still though - your story makes me laugh... and I LOVE your response. perhaps at your next class, you can swear loudly and clearly - just to clear the air!!
Love,
Christen
-okay, a little baby boy named Conner - of COURSE he's cute and DROOLS all over the place... hehe..
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