Dan and I decided to go away for about one day up to Deer Creek State park, where Dan is triathaloning right now and I just finished my lesson plans out on the portch of a beautiful lodge complete with relaxing music. Being here makes me realize how stressful it has been in Hamilton. It also makes me want to stay here longer. I think Dan and I both desire to escape for awhile right now, and can't. We'll post some pictures of this place *hopefully* before we go. Please send us your prayers. We are in a pretty constant state of missing our friends and the safe community they provide. We often feel like people here don't fully "get" us or catch our vision for living simply and making relationships a priority. Dan will be leading a discussion forum tonight - one that has resulted from church drama and poorly made decisions. They asked him to lead because he is a "neutral party." It's going to be a tough way to start another week.
If we are honest with you, which we hope to be on this blog, we both feel so consumed by our jobs that we question whether they will lead to burn-out. We have committed to giving them time, and we will. For the moment, though, we struggle to put our work and anxiety away and spend quality time together, time in which we laugh, have deep conversations, read, run, theologically debate...this is the stuff that seems to keep our relationship really fresh and fun. We are so blessed to have each other as a support, but as the main character in About A Boy comments, "You can't just depend on each other, you need back-up." At Hope and Princeton we felt like we had friendships of such constancy and sweetness that we have begun to question why we would move away from them and start over again. In other words, we love you. (c: And when our next move does occur, we may be seeking you out.
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7 comments:
Hey there Carter's - just praying a blessing on you as I have experienced the same feelings of overwhelmness (now there is a PHD made up word for you) at times during teaching - it sounds quite similar to the first school I found myself in. We love you guys as well - it sounds like you are doing all the right things to "stay healthy" - keep it up! As you know...if you ever need real serenity we have room for you here - there is nothing like a sleepover with 3 kids to make you relax.
we miss you guys lots! and know that we think of you two often. matt and i miss the commodary (i have no idea how to spell that word) of our fellow princeton friends. hang in there though! you know, we too have an extra room here. if you can stand being next to the baby room and losing a bit of sleep due to some noise! you know you are always welcome! remember, krista i'm always only a phone call away: ) i will give you a call this week: ) love you!!
You're post rings so true! Kevin recently talked to a somewhat seasoned PTS grad who said that their whole first year post-PTS they spent praying for friends. As much as it is good that seminary life doesn't continue forever, a tiny part hopes it could, just for the amazing people you meet.
Hang in there with school -- I read your post and just thought of how hard teaching can be, especially with kids who desperately need someone postive in their lives. Those kids are lucky to have you ministering to them.
hang in there you guys!! i feel so sure that things will get easier. you have a vision and you have ideals, hopes, dreams, goals... no one ever said having a vision or working for it would be easy, and in fact it can be the hardest thing.
practically, on your end of things krista, i had friends that taught at rich schools then moved to poor schools. they felt exactly as you describe your feelings their first year. the second year, it was completely different. i believe this can be your story, as well. (also: isn't first grade a little early to be diagnosed as bipolar? i've read you can't diagnose kids that young so specifically).
remember not only the good times in princeton, but the times you struggled. the times you felt so worn out from NOT living out your vision, and being in an environment so far from where you felt called to serve (inner cities, namely). i think with time, your current place will feel more like home; your roots will begin to grow; your jobs will feel more natural, come easier, more comfortable; your relationships will build.
ps... i dearly miss you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can echo that your post really resonates with us as well. Set boundaries with your jobs - draw those lines now to protect yourselves. But I think the reality is that change is always hard and leaving a community like we had at PTS would be incredibly difficult even if we were all moving to dream jobs, living situations, friends, etc. It's just hard.
We will certainly keep you in our prayers. I hope you feel loved just seeing your blog comments! That always makes me feel like maybe we're not all so far away after all.
I think it's "funny" how quickly things change ... even when hanging out with some of our dearest friends from home I though, I miss Krista .... ;). So know that you're loved and missed by all of us as well!
And ... we have that spare room too should you need a get away!
We miss you guys and are sorry for all the feelings you are having right now. I'm with Heather... remember to set boudaries and stick to it. You don't want to burn out too quickly. We need to plan a PTS reunion...I think we could all use it!
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